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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
live_laugh_love's InsaneJournal:
| Tuesday, June 8th, 2010 | |
| 9:44 pm | Caught In Bad Romance Dear Selfish S.O.B Are you really that full of yourself? Are you really for real? Fuck. I really can't take this bullshit anymore. How can you be so content to do nothing all day long? You get up at 10:30am after I prod you, play some video games and then you sit on MY computer or MY laptop and go on your goddamn forums and talk with your virtual friends or download more television shows or game or movies for the wii. Do you never tire of the monotony of it all? I realize that it is NOT your job to entertain me and stop fucking saying that like its going out of style. I never said it fucking was. Forgive me for wanting more out of life then sitting inside all day long. It's summer time. Lots of things are free right now, why not take advantage? OH and I know your going to start calling me a whiny needy snippy bitch soon so why don't I just stop you in your fucking tracks right now. Grow up, get a fucking job and stop being such a needy little momma's boy. Jesus Christ it's been TWO AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS and honestly can you say you know who I am? I really don't think you do. Oh and can you be a little more supportive when I tell you about my mom's test results instead of just saying "Oh that sucks" I mean I fucking have to go find out my blood type to see If I can donate blood to her because she may need monthly blood transfusions. Wake up little boy, you can't hide behind your technologies forever. Real life is here now. Oh and maybe you can teach my family my god damn name. Getting called your Ex's name at least once ever couple of months is starting to wear thin. Considering we see these people at least once a month. And don't give me the "they both have one syllable bullshit . Also can you get it through your family's head what my background is? Its been this long and they still talk about how unusual my colouring is. Yes I get it. I'm freakishly pale. I have black hair. and yes I have BLUE eyes. Can we move on please? Or maybe you could explain it better if you took an interest in my story. But you don't. Why do I also have to reveal myself to you, why can't you initiate anything? Well I take it back you do initiate something, really really REALLY bad sex. I think your starting you see through my facade though I guess when I request lights off so I can hide the fact that I'm rolling my eyes and counting down the time. DOn't worry though baby you don't have very much stamina you don't keep me counting down for long. Fuck I honestly don't know if I want you to come to the coast with me. I'm so over you and your sorry companionship. |
| Sunday, May 9th, 2010 | |
| 4:26 pm | A secret porn stash is not okay with me. Especially when its exactly that- secret. Fuck you you are so lucky you are at your aunt's house right now and I have a chance to cool off by going for a long, long walk before I see you. |
| Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 | |
| 12:29 pm | I don't know if I want to buy an apartment with Paul anymore. It's funny how you think things are going well and then the next moment the rug is being pulled out from under your feet. Thats how I felt two days ago when Paul approached me and point blank told me I've had a bad attitude for the last few months. I'm apparently 'snippy' and grumpy and here I was thinking I've been in a perfectly good and cheery mood, more so then I has been in a long time. It's interesting how other people see things differently. I thought I was happy, I mean I felt like some things were starting to click into place. I had just spent time with my mom, though it was a rather short visit. The ferret is on the path to recovery and has gained some pounds back. We were discussing locations of potential places we wanted to live, and looking at apartments for sale for comparable prices later on. I find it so interesting that amidst my happiness over these things that at the same time I was pulling Doctor Jeckle and Mr. Hyde moments and being "grumpy" and "snippy" when I had nothing to be those things about. I was also forbidden to tell him "I'm bored." Now I didn't realize that there were subjects that one isn't allowed to discuss with their significant other. But apparently boredom is one of them. I'm apparently ruining his unemployed experience (even though he's been laid off since the end of DECEMBER!!) As we are into his fifth month of unemployment and while he understands the fact that I'm going stir-crazy since I'm not getting very many hours at work, and I'm not the type to sit around on the couch all day without getting extremely irritable, He on the other hand enjoys it and he doesn't want to hear about my dislike or restlessness in regards to his new found couch and video game freedoms. What I think the problem is, is that more and more lately I'm pushing him to at least hand out resume's to dealerships before it's winter again and he has gained almost no experience towards his next ticket and he has no money since his EI at this rate will end in December, which will financially cripple him this coming winter. He doesn't want to hear the harsh reality of his situation and he's enjoying clicking a few yes's and no's to earn $1000 a month. It doesn't help that he's getting $1500 back for income tax, it's just another excuse for his laziness and encourages his gaming habits. I can't help it that I'm bored. We don't go for walks anymore like we use to since he 'doesn't like walking' (unless of course his mother invites us to do a 4km walk with her) we don't go on adventures anymore (since he has "never been adventurous" ) I feel cheated. Where is the adventure-loving and hiking man I fell in love with? Does he even exist anymore?? Talking with Leanna about her situation makes me stop and think about my own, and makes me wonder why I myself am not taking my own advice? I feel as though I'm settling and I don't want to. I know I should act but maybe it's fear and hope that keeps us clinging to whatever lifeline we have left. Fear of the unknown and being alone, of not finding anyone else. Hope that the man you fell in love with still exists deep down underneath this unmotivated imposture. As many of you know, I'm talking more and more about getting a dog, I just need a yard because I think its cruel to keep dogs in apartments. As much as I love and have always wanted another dog, ever since Magnum passed over the rainbow bridge 11 years ago and find myself wondering why my desire to own one has grown exponentially over the past few weeks and even months. It's because I miss the companionship. When I think of all the things I could do with my own puppy, (meet fellow dog owners at obedience school), go for walks and runs on the greenway and dog parks (exercise for us both not to mention get out of the house) I get really excited. I see this future dog as my chance to escape. Day by day the apartment's walls close in on me, and I can't stand it. This future dog will give me access to things I have lost in my relationship with Paul. We use to meet new people together, we use to go for walks and adventures this future dog is the companion that I've lost and greatly missed these last few months and thats why I feel like I'm so desperate to get these things back. I don't know whats going to happen. My friends have all moved back to whence they came, and I feel as if I'm in exile out in Kelowna alone. It's impossible for me to move back at this time, I still have school for another 3 semesters and need to keep my job no matter how few hours I get there a week. I wish I could just freeze time here in Kelowna and run away back to the coast. If the Coquihalla hadn't have gotten 10-15cm of snow on it the other night I would have packed up my car and have left this place like a bat out of hell. I'm so tired of living this scenario over and over again. |
| Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 | |
| 7:46 pm | Even though it appears I'm a week late from the updating spree, I shall update anyways :P Current thought: Umm.. are people trying to have the second baby boom in history? (I know I'm over exaggerating slightly, well a lot :P ) but seriously soo many girls are pregnant right now O.o I just found out that one of my friends from when I worked at RIcki's is pregnant, and it seems at least one or two girls from my grad class are pregnant (gotta love facebook) It's baby madnesssssssssss O.o Now that that rant is over... Weekend with Mom is good, we looked at a couple of properties about two hours away that Mom and Al might potentially buy for the new mansion sized fifth wheel they are planning on buying for their summer home, once they sell the business. They're planning on buying a plot of land somewhere in the Okanagan for summer and another plot most likely in Arizona for the Winter to escape the cold weather. We also went apartment/townhouse/house hunting for Paul and I. It's kinda exciting, but they changed the first time homeowners law :( Instead of a 5% downpayment it got bumped up to 10% X_X but Mom said if Paul and I really scrimped and saved over the next 8months or so and get pre-approved for a mortgage she'll lend me the remaining money!! What we might do is if we manage to get pre-approved for around 260-300k is buy a cheaper less flashy condo to live in and then buy another apartment to rent out. That way the tenant will pretty much pay off the other mortgage. Apparently because of the market properties up at Big White are crazy cheap right now, so if we could swing a piece of property up there we would be made in the shade renting it out in the wintertime to Aussie's and European's coming out on vacations >D But I really fell in love with an apartment in Winfield (kinda bad location, but not as bad as when we lived out in Oyama) It had GORGEOUS rustic hardware, and really dark wood cabinets, and marble countertops, and double sinks in the bathroom and soaker tub and glass shower waaaaaahhhhh soo nice <3 but it would definitely be at the top of our price range and we would need like 26k downpayment :( :( Gotta get Paul's ass in gear to get back into the workforce and saveeee saveee SAVEEEEE In other less happy new Mischief is really sick again :( I'm afraid they may have to operate :( But anyways I should probably go and continue studying for my archaeology midterm tomorrow and then anthro on saturday and then I'm DONE thank god. |
| Friday, March 26th, 2010 | |
| 10:51 pm | Save me from the nothing I have become. |
| Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010 | |
| 1:27 pm | The World is A Vampire Warning: As always this is my venting page, hence there are never ever going to be any "I love life" updates. My optimism lives only through my username. I feel like this week is seriously out to get me. Stop. Scratch that. Make that the last month or so. I have never been so stressed out in all my life. Something about February's and March's, it seems like I'm always financially and emotionally at my wits end. My student loan as evaporated and I still have no shifts from KGH. I can't keep living like this, I don't sleep. I just keep going over in my mind things I can do to get out of this mess. 1. Apply at Petsmart or some other retail job and maybe coerce them into believing that I'm worth at least $11 if not $12 an hour. If this is the case I'll have enough to cover all my bills, with enough money to start paying down my textbook inflated visa bill within two months and start saving for Mexico so I can visit my mom this winter. 2. Hold out. I'm already pretty much royaly fucked for this month, unless by some miracle work like 5 shifts this week so that I have a large pay cheque that covers everything at the end of the month. If KGH wakes up and starts giving me shifts and people start going on vacation maybe I will work full time like I did last year and be able to put away a over 1k every month. Mexico would equal a possibility, visa company will love me again. 3. Situation one and two combined. Work at Petsmart or wherever and work nights at KGH. Become a caffeine addicted insomniac but never have to worry about this shit again. Danger: Last year when I tried this my relationship with Paul went t shit. 4. Win Tim Hortons Roll up 10k. Its the least those bastards can do for giving me a double double coffee instead of a steep tea. Seriously added to my downer of a day. I don't want to have to make the phone call of shame home again next month. Seriously worst feeling of my life. I wish I could close my eyes and be back home. No worries about food or rent, electricity, car payments. Those were the good days. :( :( |
| Saturday, January 16th, 2010 | |
| 3:41 pm | I don't know why but ever since I've come back to Kelowna I've felt pretty down lately. I just feel isolated from everyone, people are so busy and there isn't any one person I feel particularly close to. I guess I kinda took Heather C for granted, now that Paul bitched her out and told her not to come around anymore, she's assumed I'm of the same feelings as him. It kinda hurts to be grouped together with Paul and not assume any kind of identity of my own when it comes to our mutual friends. To make matters worse I came to the horrible realization that I won't be grading in April of 2011. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but I really fucked up first semester of second year and failed chemistry and biopsychology and failed a bio in first year. That leaves me 9 credits short. I look forward to that conversation with my mother when she gets back from Mexico. A lost dream due to failure. Thats the real reason I'm not going to vet school. I failed the pre-requisites to switch into the science program at UBCO, and now because of that I have to add another semester, most likely summer to the program I'm in currently that I detest. If I add a winter semester on, then I inconvenience my parents who would have to delay or come back from Mexico early to come see me grad. I also need to start working again. I haven't worked a shift since before finals in December. Of course I have had a bad cold for the last few days and voila they have been phoning me non-stop and I can't take the shift. Paul is annoyed I think, but what am I suppose to do? accept an 11pm-7am shift working in Emerge or Bed Making and be coughing and infecting beds that may be mean't for extremely ill people, and I my germs may be the thing that finishes them off? It annoys me to no end how he doesn't see it that way. He shrugs it off like its nothing and gets mad that I don't accept the shifts. Thats another thing that's gotten me down lately-- I absolutely hate my job. I'm working with people twice my age and I have no one to talk to. I vaguely try to follow conversations in the lunch room but its all about husbands and kids (and their kids are my age!). The most I can hope for on a shift is to not cross paths with some cranky ass doctor or nurse, who think they are mightier-then-thou. All I have to look forward to is to encounter some funny old man in an isolation room telling me all his stories from his glory days or the end of my shift. It just sucks that it pays so well, but the good pay doesn't really balance out the bullshit that comes with it. Pretty much it comes down to this: I hate my life, I hate my job and it feels like I have no one to talk to. I hate how grey out its been and the fact that on the one sunny day in months Paul is up at the mountain and I'm sitting here bitching about how miserable a creature I've turned out to be. I just want to close my eyes and fast forward ten years into the future and maybe just maybe I wont be stuck with the shitty desk job my degree is inevitable going to get me, I'll have griffy and hobbles and mischief and maybe a siberian husky wolf cross and a bengal cat in a cute little house somewhere away from all the bullshit that is life. And I guess Paul can come to, but he was grumbling a little to much of the prospects of a dog and a cat. How the hell did I end up with a man who doesn't like dogs? and only moderately likes cats? All I can say is 2010, you are off to a real shitty start. |
| Saturday, December 19th, 2009 | |
| 11:55 am | Just definitely noticed that the boyfriend in Lady gaga's "paparazzi" is eric from true blood LOL *goes and watches it again to stave off my true blood cravings* |
| Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 | |
| 5:12 pm | lmao. I wil never think of little red riding hood the same way.. “Little Red Riding Hood” from Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner. Copyright 1994 by James Finn Garner. New York: Macmillan, 1994. There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with her mother on the edge of a large wood. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house--not because this was womyn's work, mind you, but because the deed was generous and helped engender a feeling of community. Furthermore, her grandmother was not sick, but rather was in full physical and mental health and was fully capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult. So Red Riding Hood set off with her basket through the woods. Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place and never set foot in it. Red Riding Hood, however, was confident enough in her own budding sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did not intimidate her. On the way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf who asked her what was in her basket. She replied, "Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult." The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way." Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path. But, because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the wolf knew a quicker route to Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on Grandma's nightclothes and crawled into bed. Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat- free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch." From the bed, the wolf said softly, "Come closer, child, so that I might see you." Red Riding Hood said, "Oh, I forgot you are as optically challenged as a bat. Grandma, what big eyes you have!" "They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear." "Grandma, what a big nose you have, only relatively, of course, and certainly attractive in its own way." "It has smelled much, and forgiven much, my dear." "Grandma, what big teeth you have!" The wolf said, "I am happy with who I am and what I am," and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her. Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency toward crossdressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal space. Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopperperson (or log-fuel technician, as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and tried to intervene. But as he raised his ax, Red Riding Hood and the wolf both stopped. "And just what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood. The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him. "Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you!" she exclaimed. "Sexist! Speciesist! How dare you assume that womyn and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!" When she heard Red Riding Hood's impassioned speech, Grandma jumped out of the wolf's mouth, seized the woodchopperperson's ax, and cut his head off. After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma, and the wolf felt a certain commonality of purpose. They decided to set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived together in the woods happily ever after. |
| Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 | |
| 4:38 pm | I am currently sitting in class. A class that my prof is currently not teaching and instead is having a grad student teacher it. I normally wouldn't have a problem with a class that is pointless and enjoy not having to think. Except this class is 3 hours. And I have 2 papers to write by tomorrow. Why am I here? Because I need the official take-home exam final questions. I think they are being withheld until the end of class. But I haven't eaten since 8am, and I cranky and hungry. Just give me the freaking questions so I can go do useful shit. RAWR. |
| Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 | |
| 12:02 pm | So had an awesome time this weekend with the family and girlies good feelings lasted straight through to strange condensed milk coffee with ethan at the pho place and died instantly the moment paul came in and told me what happened on friday night. Marty (nolans twin brother) and older brother to 16 year-old skank Arden decided to jump on heathers car and then proceed to jump on my car, scratching the paint on the bumper and hood of my 18k 4 month old car. This all because I think he got word that I have heather's back on Halloween because Heather confided in me that He has been threatening her for the past month and was worried he would try to start something at our Halloween party. The reason he was threatening her was because Arden doesn't like heather because she is no longer friends with Arden's friend Emma. Marty took on a mafia type mentality where if you 'mess' with one member of his family you mess with them all. Hes been threatening to jump her with his brother and sister and slashing tires ect ect. So pretty sure he damaged my car because I said I would have him removed and call the cops if need be to remove him from the property. I need to reiterate that I have met this kid TWICE. Once he was drunk with his girlfriend at spring valley west and once a couple of weeks ago when he was having a beer with the guys while paul worked on his car. This is when marty saw me pull into the driveway in my new car. So he knew whose car it was he was jumping on. None of the other 4 cars were damaged in any way. Heather said he and a few others lit off roman candles in my driveway as they left. Where it gets messy is his denial, however I have two eyewitnesses, one of who is willing to testify to the police if I want to charge him with vandalism, or to my insurance company. He also failed to show up at 7am this morning when he was suppose to meet Paul and I to discuss what happened. He didn't text or phone to cancel jsut no showed. He is now coming over tonight at 6pm because we mentioned that the police might get involved. I need to mention the fact that Marty has a $10 000 warrant out for his arrest in Calgary for damages to rental property.... pretty sure he doesn't want the calgary RCMP to find out where he is. So Paul, who feels terrible, and blames himself for not looking after the place while I was gone suggested we move. So we're looking at a place at 6:30pm on Thursday, it will cost the same amount as the house (about 400 each) plus electricity. Its located in the Yaletown Verve on Glenmore dr. It would cut my work commute in half and is about the same distance from campus which is nice, and likes ferrets and birds lol Downside: its a bachelor suite, which means open concept and no bedroom, but we can buy screens and its not like we ever entertain, especially after what happened last weekend. Wish us luck. |
| Wednesday, October 14th, 2009 | |
| 10:59 am | I don't know what it is lately, but I find my self constantly on the verge of tears. A song lyric, a commercial, a thought, anything can set me off in a second. I'm really good about hiding it when around paul, or maybe he just chooses to pretend that he doesn't notice. He isn't a very sensitive guy, he doesn't express emotion very well. I don't know what it is, maybe its the state of my mom's health or the fact that I'm locked into a degree where nobody seems to know where it leads. Maybe its the fact that I've successfully alienated myself from 95% of my friends here. But it's strange to say it three years after the fact, but I think I'm starting to get homesick. Every family dinner at Paul's family's house solidifies this fact to me. My parents go to Mexico in less then a month, until March. My sister lives in Calgary with her two kids, my brother is trying to escape his overbearing and overweight wife by taking jobs out of province for months at a time. I know my family isn't exactly regionally close, but I wish I could just turn back the clock and make everything like it use to be. Sometimes I feel like I squandered all the years I had with them by living in my pool of teenage angst and isolating myself from them. |
| Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 | |
| 8:27 pm | Please update that is all. |
| Friday, September 11th, 2009 | |
| 11:33 pm | EDIT:::: Yeah he's still sulky reeal sulky to the point its kinda aggravating me. Im apparently not allowed to play with his hair anymore when hes driving and i have my arm around him from the passenger seat. Hes acting like a child. I sense another period of fighting and annoyance on the horizon. So a little while ago I had THE biggest FML moment of all time. I have recently really got into True Blood which is absolutley amazing and is my new vamp addiction, blowing vampire diaries out of the park. However during an episode i had been text michelle and went to text her: "Sigh I wish Paul was more like Bill" {bill=sexy vamp In reality I sent that message to Paul, who was at a friends house playing pool. Immediatley realizing what I had done I texted him "LOl just joking :p" Only to get the response of "Who's Bill?" Me: "A vampire lol" Paul: "I see" Me trying to further cover my ass "Love you sweetums but you know how I love my vamps" FML.FML.FML. Michelle and I had a good laugh about it over the phone until paul walked in the door a little sulky but overall fine. Note to self: Dont send text messages so fast, you are use to texting Paul, so make sure you send your messages to the right person *dies* |
| Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 | |
| 9:09 pm |   I can't wait <3 probably be about a month or so but I'm def getting an 8 week old kit, a white one with black eyes<3 <3 Pauls getting me one as an early christmas present. I know they're kinda smelly but they are sooo playful, like permanent kittens or puppies. Plus you can walk them like dogs too and they are so darn cute!! Would get an albino one but they tend to be def and have health issues :( plus I like the contrast of white fur and black eyes <3 <3 |
| Saturday, August 1st, 2009 | |
| 8:17 pm | aah so here we are a little over a year and a half later and all the things I loved most about him are slowly slipping away. When did it happen? But more often then not I feel trapped as oppossed to happy. Leave. Move out. It seems so simple. But the probability of me finding cheap housing with two birds is pretty much zero. Some days I wonder if I'm still with him because of this fear of having nowhere to go. because lets face it he's not that great in bed. Sorry if thats too much info but seriously its like you blink and he's finished. Its quite sad really. Maybe my mom summed it up best when she was here "He's still a boy who knows he can run back to his mommy whenever a problem looms on the horizon. Your a lot older mentally then he is" and perhaps that is exactly it, when we had the apartment he was on the road to maturing, goals and ambitions to become a mechanic, he was going to school and working. And now what? hes working full time at Princess auto and hasn't handed out any resumes for apprentice jobs. and without 1200 hours he can't get into his second year of school. Oh and another thing that annoys me " I want to go snowbaording" "Look my peppers have flowers" "Mmm Beef Jerky" These are the only topics he discusses, that and call of duty or roller coaster tycoon. Oh and he ignores the birds and then gets mad when they scream- because they want him to give them some attention. Why the hell did we get hobbles if he has no intention of helping take care of her. ARGH. I think hes coming in the door back from the beach. GUess I should go. end rant for now/. |
| Monday, July 27th, 2009 | |
| 11:28 am | Mom left this morning and its back to the dily boring routine, with an exception of my having a cold. We're in the middle of a freaking 38 degree heat wave and I catch a cold >__> Need to start picking up some shifts but fear of passing on my cold to an old person and killing them off makes me hesitant X__X but anyways back to the visit with my mom :) she got here thursday night, made tacos and just talked. Its so nice just being able to talk freely and not every two seconds "hello? can you hear me?" Call FAILED. Her cell phone reception is the worst I've ever seen or heard in my life. She had quite scare on the highway here a couple of times, torrential downpours and not being able to see two feet in front of her as shes driving, two red vans pass her on the kokahala one with kids, on without. A minute later up a head of her a red van loses control and hyrdoplans or gets a flat tire and careens off the road, my mom only sees a lifeless arm hanigng out of the drivers window. She really hopes it wasn't the one with the kids. She saw a couple of people also go off the road into ditches :x oh and her ABS kept failing X_X Turned of all the lights and watched the lighting storms out of the big bay living room windows. Strike after strike hits the mountains around us and light up the sky. Friday we went shopping. My mom bought us a big white almost shag like carpet for the living room, its a lot nicer on the feet then our hardwood floors :) then the real challenge getting this huge 8"10" carpet into my little kia. Luckily the back seats fold down and connect to the trunk. The carpet ended up resting on the dash with my mom holding it up so I could drive properly. Went to Micheals, went to Merle Norman for make-up lessons. Was unimpressed by the 18 year old trying to teach my proper techniques. My mom got the thirty year old but we both agreed the make-up they put on us was way to heavy. She tried to make me look like a hooker >__> I mean who chooses mauve blush with purple eye shadow?? Held my ground and made her change it. The eyes looked nice but my skin later rebelled, its use to light mineral powder not heavy concealer and foundation blech My mom was equally dissatisfied, her eyes looked really pretty, they really made her dark amber eyes pop, but again too much blush. We managed to rub most of the blush off before continuing to the mall. Bought a long sweater in various shades of purple from costa blanca, a shirt from my sort of work (still get my discount even though I dont work there ever and they're just waiting for my written two weaks notice lol) two tank tops from fairweather and a purple 3/4 lengh sleave dress from fairweather as well. MICHELLE think you can get my a discount on more of those cotton camis? the ones that are 2 for 20 or non? would really like the blue and purple one but needed to replace my black and white camis :X Mom stocked up more on her lovespell stuff from le senza 5 for 20 shes addicted lol but she bought me the body butter and perfume of it. It smells super nice. Went to MAC bought their new purple and forest green eyeliners one of their brush kits with the roses and some cleaner. Drove home exhausted from our day of shopping just sat outside and enjoyed the warm weather. Next day (Saturday) Paul planned a bbq to inroduce his mom and sterp dad and sister and her boyfriend to my mom. But first line of duty was to go to toys r us and buy my nephew birthday presents. I ended up picking both because my mom had no clue what to get for a 6 year old boy. Girls are so much earier to buy for. Went to petsmart, liquor store, some shoe stores ect ect. Took the backway home and hunted for cherries for mom to bring back for AL. Finally found a place but it was kinda expensice :/ mom spent like $40 on 10lbs of cherries X_X its too bad pauls coworker was so busy otherwise he would have sold them to her for 50 cents a pound :/ Sitting in the living room when freak windstorm hits. One of the humming bird feeders almost smahses into the window so I run to take it down. All hell breaks lose, my planters are being blown overt and patio furniture is moving everywhere. We manage to rexue all with one exception, the Thai Dragon Pepper plant that Paul named the captain :( the wind snapped the plant at its base, he ahd grown it from a seed and it was the only plant that had the buds starting to open up for flowers. BBQ commences, we break the news to Paul about his pepper, he's crestfallen and in disbelief. My mom suggests a root hormone to try and save it, but chances were slim. BBQ was good people leave around 9pm and mom prepares to leave the next day aiming for noon. Sunday morning: mom says she wants to fill up the van with gas so she can just leave and we decide to pick up the root hormone while we're at it. Key turns, engine starts, parking break released, foot to gas pedal. Resistance. my mom: do i have a flat? me: I'll go check. I see nothing wrong and tell her to try to go. Suddenly tread marks appear as the other three tires spin and one just drags along. The stupid tire wasn't spinning. after many phone calls and trying to figure it out we give up. Paul wasn't going to be home until 6 so there was no point in sitting there. My mom drove my car into town cuz I wasn't feeling tgoo swift. COme back, Paul gets home spends an hour and a half in the blazing sun (38 degrees), but fixes it. Some malfunction of the parkiung break not releaseing the tire. We go to his dads for dinner my mom stays behind because he was cooking salmon and my mom is highly and dealthy allergic to all seafood. I only went because I had comitted to going a week previous because my mom was suppose to have already been gone. Didn't stay too long got back around 9:30ish visited with my mom for another hour and a half ebfore bed. She left at abour 6:30am this morning and is home now. She missed a really important doctors appointment this morning though and my nephews birthday party last night :x :x But all in all a very good visit with my mom :) |
| Friday, July 3rd, 2009 | |
| 7:33 pm | SO I guess its only fair that I update my journal after telling everyone else to XD nothing new and exciting really... Just been working 11pm-7am shifts and heading up to beaver lake by 11am so really haven't had much sleep at all lately, maybe 10hours of sleep in the last 72hours, which changed today thank god since I didn't go up to the lake I slept for a good 8 hours or so for once which was nice<3 Doing my last scheduled shift in emerge last night, thank god X_X Its not that i dislike that area but out of all the other grave yards its the busiest shift so while everyone else is dog fucking and taking extra breaks im running around like a mad woman and on my breaks generally gt paged back to emerge (and you HAVE to go even if you are like 2 hours overdue for your lunch as is) Last night or I guess this morning rather sucked, it was WAYYY to emotional for my sleep deprived body and mind to handle. A 20 year old died in Trauma 1 Skateboard versus Car. Guess who won? Not a nice way to start a shift. The friends and family were there for a solid two hours hysterially crying and wailing and even all the nurses were in tears especially when the mom came in :( It was not very pretty. When I went to clean Trauma 1 I saw his xrays that were still up his skull was all bashed in and his neck was all twisted funny and blood all over the stretcher :( Poor guy not a very nice way to meet his end, and the worst part of it all was the fact that his friends were with him when it happened :( :( Then there was a girl in ENT who was hysterical the whole 4 hours that she was there. At one point I had to go grab one of the nurses since she was sobbing and freaking out and begging me to get her out of there I swear she was going to rip out her IV so I had to grab a nurse @__@ I'm not sure what was wrong with her she might have just been having panic attacks since she was all alone and had been there forever waiting for the overbusy doctor... On the bright side the last couple of days learned to ride a dirt bike which was super fun :) :) Paul is going to buy another one next summer so I can ride around on his little 80 :) Yesterday he biffed hardcore though and got speared by a branch left a rather nasty gash on his side he's lucky it wasn't worse @__@ Heading up tomorrow morning again probably going to rent some kayaks or canoes possible go fishing and then I get tomorrow and sunday off HURRAY!! and IM NOT COMING IN IF THEY PHONE ME!!!! Emerge takes so much out of you especially when you work it so many days in a row @___@ tonight will be my fourth day in a row which is waaay to much especially since tonight is friday and its going to be busy and most likely messy with all the drunken yahoos downtown FML. Well I should probably shower and throw my scrubs in the dryer I just have to get through the next twelve hours and then I'll be home again and heading up to the cabin @___________@ |
| Monday, June 29th, 2009 | |
| 4:26 pm | I think everyone needs to update. ASAP!!! |
| Sunday, June 7th, 2009 | |
| 7:15 pm | blargh just had a really bad low blood sugar attack. Was just sitting watching tv when suddenly blurred vision, body felt like it was on fire-the ultimate sweats, super shaky and just about fainted but made it to the kitchen. Didn't get better till i had some honey which means that my borderline diabetes that I was born with might start to turn into full fledged stab yourself with needles everyday kind of diabetes :/ My mom wants me to go in for blood tests, but they keep you there for 8 hours to make sure you don't eat anything to sabotage the test. Maybe I'll just wait and see if it happens again, its the first time its happened in about 6-8months and I really don't want to have to sit in an office for 8 hours just to find out it was a minor flare up. SIgh guess it was bound to happen. My mom, my biological dad, my grampa, my grandma all of them have diabetes and my mom was on insulin for years guess its my turn to jump on the shitty gene pool train X_X |